How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (and They Will)
by Chuck Sambuchino

106 pages
Ten Speed Press, September 2010
List price: $14.99





I feel like I should preface this review with a disclaimer: I'm not a fan of gnomes. I don't hate them, but I just don't "get" them either. To me, they're no more attractive or amusing than pink flamingos. (Oh dear. I have now offended yet another group of gardeners.) But being what I believe to be an objective book reviewer, I tried to put my personal feelings aside.

As I slogged through the book (oops...my bias is showing already), I really tried to understand the fascination with these little creatures and how they've taken on a life of their own and have such a cult following. If I'd managed to accomplish this, I might have enjoyed the book more.

It seems to be well-written and lovers of gnomes will likely enjoy the quirky humor within its pages. Divided into four parts - Assess, Defend, Protect, Apply - steps are explained on how to deal with the troublemakers. The supporting photography is creative and Sambuchino clearly knows more about the little bearded guys than one person should. The book is written as a humorous survival guide for those who have found garden gnomes lurking behind the gardenias.

I have a question though - If gardeners who have a "problem" with garden gnomes and their antics manage to banish them from their gardens or at least prevent them from wreaking havoc among the heucheras, on what will they blame such things now?

My sincere apologies to those who love garden gnomes. I've failed in my attempt to be objective. I'm glad that you find them so charming and amusing (and apparently a threat), and you will probably want this book on your shelf. But I'd suggest waiting a bit before spending your money on it. My prediction is that it will be on the remainder shelf sooner rather than later.

Perhaps I will now need a guide entitled, "How to Survive an Attack of the Garden Gnome Lovers."

Chuck Sambuchino is a produced playwright, and a magazine writer, freelance editor, husband, dog owner, and cover band guitarist.  He is the author of Formatting & Submitting Your Manuscript, 3rd Edition, and editor of 2011 Guide to Literary Agents and the Screenwriter's & Playwright's Market. Sambuchino lives in a heavily fortified residence in a secret Midwest location.





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The publication being reviewed in this blog post was the sole compensation for reviewing the product. All opinions expressed here are mine. If I like it, I'll say so. If I don't, I'll say that, too.